Jenny Wilson is a Swedish singer-songwriter whose sad, sprightly songs artfully draw from folk, disco, and R&B. Wilson spent eight years in the Stockholm indie-pop outfit First Floor Power before going solo. She's released two albums, 2005's Love and Youth and 2009's Hardships!, collaborated with The Knife, El Perro del Mar, Robyn, and Rubies, and, notably, had two children.
Interview: 27 April 2009
It's been four years since Love and Youth. Where you been?
“Well, I had my second child in 2006, so, I had a natural break. I took one year off, completely, from music, where I just spent my time with my family, my new kid.”
Was it strange to step away from something you'd done your whole adult life?
“Yeah, but it was also necessary. It’s very difficult to try and make something creative when you’re carrying around a newborn baby. It’s much easier, then, to just take time off and concentrate on the baby stuff. Otherwise, it’s so stressful to try to be in that other world, which music is, because it’s hard to keep the focus.”
Did things feel different when you came back to music?
“I think I had a greater self-confidence, actually. When I made [Love and Youth], I was insecure about making my own album, had never done it before, and had to try and communicate these vague ideas I had to other people. This time, I was quite certain about what I wanted to do, and was very focused on getting what I wanted.”
What did you want?
“I had definite ideas —very 'visual' ideas— how I wanted it to sound, so I worked much more as a producer this time around. And, also, the theme of the album, I was very certain from the early stages that I wanted it to be about motherhood, and so I could work towards this concept.”
Have you encountered any other artworks that dealt with motherhood in an interesting way?
“Not really, actually. I found a lack of motherhood in music, definitely. I was wondering why isn’t there any good songs about being a mother, so I thought I had to write them myself.”
Why do you think that is?
“I’m not sure. I think it’s quite hard to write about being a mother, because many women think that they have to be so perfect. I felt quite nervous when I was about to release the album here, in Sweden, in February. I was thinking ‘my god, how am I going to talk about this album in the interviews?’ I was afraid that it would be too private, that journalists would ask me about my specific experiences as a mother. But I don’t want to talk about how I act when I’m a mother, or how I think you should act when you’re a mother, that’s not my point. I was just trying to write stories about motherhood as this grand topic of study.”
New parenthood seems to be so rarely intelligently chronicled. Even when people speak about it, it’s always articulated very simply. Whether it’s positive —new babies are such angels— or negative —you get no sleep at all!— it’s always so reductionist, whereas it’s actually infinitely more complex and contradictory than that.
“It’s such a huge thing to bring life into this world. It raises so many questions, so many philosophical thoughts about life, about your being. I remember, when I had my first kid, what I wondered most was: ‘Where did I go? Where did the old Jenny go?’ I was longing for myself, I think, missing myself in some way, and it took me one year to reach myself again. It’s one of the most amazing and complex things you can go through, but it’s so draining, and brings up so many strange feelings.”
What feelings, specifically?
“One feeling I experienced was some kind of loneliness. I was very lonely. When you have a small baby they’re so vulnerable, and the baby needs you so much, and that’s quite a big pressure. It’s hard to even talk about, because it’s a mixture of so many big feelings. That’s why I thought it was such an interesting topic to write about. So I tried to build up a world with very physical things, like porcelain cups and kitchen tables, things you can really grab and touch, because the emotions that I was writing about, the feelings that you feel, are too hard to catch unless you place them into a room. It’s interesting to work with themes or concepts which you can penetrate in many different, deeper ways.”
Was it difficult subject-matter to explore?
“Yeah, I think it was, because I had a very strong feeling that I wanted to write about motherhood, but I was also convinced that it should also be about war. About fights and fighting. At first I was confused: ‘Why do I want to sing about motherhood and war? What’s the connection?’ Then I realized that it fit together like a puzzle. Because when you feel that very strong love you feel for your kids, you also, maybe for the first time in your life, feel like you could walk out into a war, stand in the line of fire, because you have something to protect. Then I read a quote by Simone de Beauvoir; I don’t remember exactly how she said it, but the essence is: 'they give you rewards when you take life, but they don’t give you rewards when you make life.' That’s something I could feel so strongly: I’m walking here with my baby, and I give everything to this little baby, but no one really knows, or society doesn’t really honor me for it. I won’t get any gold medals for this hard work, it’s just something I’m supposed to do.”
That song, the title-track of the record, was that the bedrock to these thematic thoughts?
“The feeling behind that song, of course, it was there from the start; it was what made me pick this whole theme. Because it was growing inside of me, this quote from Simone de Beauvoir was really powering me through my work.”
How do you think this work, these ideas, will be accepted in a world in which rock’n’roll is still a male dominion, in which the majority of the music-critics are men?
“Well, as I told you before I was very nervous how people would react to these lyrics, and whether they would understand it. But, in Scandinavia, I got so many amazing reviews, mostly from men, which is so surprising. They really seemed to have understood it totally. I’m almost confused how it could turn out so well; how people could just know why motherhood and war should go together as themes. I’m confused, but very, very happy.”
